Counseling on the immediate postoperative experience for outpatient procedures is largely based on anecdotal experience. We devised a short messaging service (SMS) survey using mobile phone text messages to evaluate real-time patient recovery following outpatient thyroid or parathyroid surgery.Daily automated SMS surveys were sent the evening of the operation until postoperative day 10. Pain, opioid use, voice quality, and energy levels were assessed. Impaired voice and energy was defined as a score2/3 of normal.One hundred fifty five patients were enrolled with an overall response rate of 81.6%. One hundred thirty three patients had an individual response rate50% and were included in the final analysis. Median patient age was 60 y with 102 females (76.7%). Seventy patients (52.6%) underwent parathyroidectomy and 66 (49.6%) thyroidectomy and 10 (7.5%) neck dissection. Forty eight patients (36.1%) did not use any opioids postoperatively. Independent risk factors for higher total pain scores included thyroidectomy and patients with preoperative opioid or tobacco use, while increased opioid use was associated with age60 y, body mass index30 kg/mReal-time SMS survey is an effective and potentially valuable way to monitor patient recovery following surgery. A subset of patients reported impaired voice and energy and was still using opioids beyond 1 wk after thyroid and parathyroid surgery and these patients may benefit from closer follow-up and earlier intervention.